Monday, December 29, 2008

Turning 30 for dummies.



The big day is upon me. All year I've been very cavalier about the whole situation. Of course turning thirty doesn't bother me, maybe forty will.

Um? For the record?

I'm a big fat liar.

I'm 30. (well, in two days)

Three tens.

Two fifteens.

TEN threes.

OK, enough with the multiplication tables.

The truth.

Thirty bothers me.

Bothers me in that I thought I would no longer feel like a kid. Bothers me in that I thought I would no longer have to say 'I don't know' to questions (to clarify, I didn't think I'd be a know it all, I just thought perhaps some cosmic intelligence might osmosis it's way into my thick skull)Bothers me in that I haven't been all the places I'd like to go and done all the things I'd like to try (apparently you drop off the planet at age 30, who knew?)bothers me that my skin is having some sort of flashback to 1993 (thirteen or so) but add a few fine lines and wrinkles.

It also bothers me that It bothers me.

Dude, I love myself so much more.

This year has been great for me self actualizing-wise.

I've been more honest with myself than previous years, I've been more soul searching and less quick to judge, more ready to forgive.

In a lovely twist of kismet, my birthday falls on New Years Eve, (guess who gets to work on her thirtieth birthday?) so I get to make my resolutions and grand declarations all on the same day.

Early on, I said I was only going to do two, possibly three resolutions this year because, well the more you do, the more disappointed I tend to be when I fail miserably.

My first draft o' resolutions

1. Write every day (even if for only fifteen minutes)

2. BE more healthy (i.e. take better care of myself) which I finally decided was too broad, not specific enough and too easy too interpret into something not very difficult, which I'm going to be honest, I do too much.

So, on to second draft o' resolutions and grand declarations.

1. Write every day. (even if only journaling)

2. Exercise and cut out (most) caffeine.

3. Take vitamins.

And, while this is very specific, I'll be honest. NOT very exiting.

And as we all know, getting exited about resolutions is what it's all about.

Ahem, third Draft of Grand Declaration and Resolute Truths.

1. Write Every Day.

2. STOP eating crap, and drinking crap.

3. Reward myself. (now, this is something I can really get behind, idea wise)

Ok, obviously, it's a good thing I have two more days before I have to be certain of resolutions.

I'd love to hear about your resolutions or what you love and hate about your age.

Happy New year.

PS

Hands down? Favorite thing about the holidays this year? (Besides the joy on the munchkins faces and all that jazz.) Ashley's homemade cheesecake. Good stuff.

PPS

Totally didn't make it on the reading fast, must pick less stressful month, maybe February? Er, March?

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