Friday, April 24, 2009

Rhianna and the NY Times: A love story.

Once upon a time there was a girl with beautiful long, flowing flake free, frizz free hair (what? it's a fairy tale, let me have my long flowing fantasy hair) and this girl was in LOVE with the NY Times: Sunday edition.

she was all like, NY times:Sunday edition, where have you been all my life, with your impossibly long ridiculously successful people wedding announcements and Art section that makes me want to hop the red eye to NY and mingle among the creative and broke.

and the NY Times:Sunday edition was like, I'm so glad you're willing to pay four hundred dollars for one Sunday edition and then lug me home(thus completing your weight lifting for the day)

and she was like , well, that is true, you are expensive and heavy...

and the NY Times:Sunday edition was like, BUT the book reviews you heart the book reviews, right? what would you do without your forty-five minute fantasy about seeing your book reviewed and or advertised among the lucky published?

and she was like, well, NY Times:Sunday edition, I'm not sure if you've heard of the Internet, but there are all sorts of free and random book reviews.

NY Times, Sunday edition scoffed...(yes scoffed, what of it?) Random? Free? Is this what you want to cuddle up with? Random and Free? How would you like your five dollar latte to be random and free? (free yes, random notsomuch) How would you like your cell phone service to be random and free. That's how you pick up viruses and diseases, you know.

Girl laughs maniacally, OH NY Times:Sunday edition, I didn't expect you to be so defensive and bitter.

and then NY Times:Sunday edition got mad....You're just like all the rest! Newspapers will be obsolete if you stop reading us, I'm begging you! Your children won't even know what is was like to hold and smell a newspaper.

Girl: I'm sorry, there are just easier and more time effective ways to get my news and entertainment...I'm sorry, you will always be my first.

NY Times:Sunday edition sniffles..There's a great review this week about the new Columbine book...only available in PRINT.

Girl..let's not prolong the inevitable NYT:SE...we had some good times and some bad (remember the paper cut?)

NYT:SE...that wasn't my was the advertising department.

Girl...I have to go..You were fun.

NYT:SE...What If we ran coupons again?

girl, swishing her long flowing flake and frizz free hair, too little too where can I can some wi-fi love?

To conclude, I used to be all, I heart you NY Times:Sunday edition, and now I'm like NY Times:Sunday edition? When did you gain all this weight? Where are my comics? Where are my coupons? Where oh where is the love?

Plus, is it not just easier to google the book reviews I want to see?
Next week..Rhianna and Google: An Affair to Remember.

Friday, April 17, 2009

And then I broke my leg...

**DISCLAIMER: No leg breaking actually occurred this is a gross exaggeration of some crazy things that happened on vacation...

So we're home.

Which is awesome, but also sucks, because it's means that we are at the farthest point from our next vacation.
But, again, is awesome, because it's so nice to be home when you've been away. The beds were terribly uncomfortable and the fridge at our first house sounded like Snoopy's airplane.
Oh? and also?
the hot tub? NOT so hot.
Really barely even tepid.

the managers of said property were more than happy to jet some maintenance men up the mountain to fix our problems for approximately three hours and seventeen minutes. When the refrigerator cranked back up and instead of Snoopy's airplane sounded a little more like rocket ship landing site.
Oh? and the hot tub?
Approximately seven thousand degrees.

So, we call, again....and they moved us. To a house with a working fridge and warm hot tub. And we were glad, because we paid for a house with both a fridge and hot tub, but we were already two days into our vacation. and a little peeved that we had to move.
But the second house was really nice, if also a little rundown (which, when compared to basically ghettofied, is fantastic)but in the grand scheme of things still kind of sucks when you shell out hard earned money for what you assume is a well-upkept rental.

and next time, when we go to Gatlinburg? We'll stay somewhere else, thanks.

We did have a great time, but I hate being those high maintenance people who demand stuff but sadly I can't sleep at a rocket launch site, and the hot tubby fun-ness is diminished a bit by skin falling off bone.
(and the pool table? one leg was broken and had been splinted back together, very nice!)

I hope everyone had a great Easter!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Hello life, it's me Rhianna, are you there?

Dear Life,
Remember all the fun things we used to do together? We used to sleep in and skip classes and get our nails done and see movies?
What happened? I still think about you all the time, I daydream about our weekend trips to the beach, about our late night dinners out, about our shopping for everything and nothing.
I can't believe you would just up and leave me because I got a job, I mean, I know I work long hours, and sometimes I'm only home for about five hours before I have to go back, but you could call, you could write, you could even send me a text message if you wanted. I'm here.
I would say I'll wait for you, but I have my pride and I would hate to think you've found someone else. I know you think my job is more important than you, but you know how it is to be an adult, I still want you, I just want other things, too.
I don't understand why we can't at least be friends and hang out once in awhile. I was good to you, right? You remember the good times?
Well, since I haven't heard from you in a bit, I'm going to assume you need your space.
But, call me when you can, I'll be here...leave a message if I'm sleeping.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Sleep, Interrupted

The truth, I've started a blog every day this week, and then I'm bored with reading it myself, so I'm cramming my whole week into one day, so sandwiched between No-worries Wednesday and Fat-free Friday, I will cover all the basics, 1.countdown to vacation 2. lack of much needed sleep and 3. whether or not I'm actually sticking to my diet/workout plan (oh, if only there were actually a plan)
Eight more days until vacation! Eight LONG LONG LONG days until we pack up the car and head off for the mountains, and although I'm exited (our first real vacation in over a year!) I'm also dreading the inevitable packing, unpacking and various sleep issues the kids will have. Not to mention the various upsets of exhausted children on vacation. But still, so EXITED, super exited. I just wish I could transport our whole house into the rental house and then back. Instead I have to try to figure out what the kids will want most and just well...start packing.
2. for some reason I can't seem to squeeze in more than three or four hours at a time. Just talking about it makes me tired.
3. Fat free Friday ( a whole day early!) I actually worked out three whole days (well, not the whole days, but you get the point) three workouts..and then I was so hungry I was like hello sugar cookie where have you been all my life, so I'm not sure if that's progress or a two steps forward three steps back type situation or what. But I'm working on it. So that's that. As far as writing life is concerned Bla........(loosely translated means when I have ten seconds to myself, I mostly just want to sleep.)
Otherwise, things are good...this is my last day off before I work the next seven or so..for vacation, I probably won't blog again until around Easter, but I hope everyone has a Hoppy Easter..