Friday, April 24, 2009

Rhianna and the NY Times: A love story.

Once upon a time there was a girl with beautiful long, flowing flake free, frizz free hair (what? it's a fairy tale, let me have my long flowing fantasy hair) and this girl was in LOVE with the NY Times: Sunday edition.

she was all like, NY times:Sunday edition, where have you been all my life, with your impossibly long ridiculously successful people wedding announcements and Art section that makes me want to hop the red eye to NY and mingle among the creative and broke.

and the NY Times:Sunday edition was like, I'm so glad you're willing to pay four hundred dollars for one Sunday edition and then lug me home(thus completing your weight lifting for the day)

and she was like , well, that is true, you are expensive and heavy...

and the NY Times:Sunday edition was like, BUT the book reviews you heart the book reviews, right? what would you do without your forty-five minute fantasy about seeing your book reviewed and or advertised among the lucky published?

and she was like, well, NY Times:Sunday edition, I'm not sure if you've heard of the Internet, but there are all sorts of free and random book reviews.

NY Times, Sunday edition scoffed...(yes scoffed, what of it?) Random? Free? Is this what you want to cuddle up with? Random and Free? How would you like your five dollar latte to be random and free? (free yes, random notsomuch) How would you like your cell phone service to be random and free. That's how you pick up viruses and diseases, you know.

Girl laughs maniacally, OH NY Times:Sunday edition, I didn't expect you to be so defensive and bitter.

and then NY Times:Sunday edition got mad....You're just like all the rest! Newspapers will be obsolete if you stop reading us, I'm begging you! Your children won't even know what is was like to hold and smell a newspaper.

Girl: I'm sorry, there are just easier and more time effective ways to get my news and entertainment...I'm sorry, you will always be my first.

NY Times:Sunday edition sniffles..There's a great review this week about the new Columbine book...only available in PRINT.

Girl..let's not prolong the inevitable NYT:SE...we had some good times and some bad (remember the paper cut?)

NYT:SE...that wasn't my was the advertising department.

Girl...I have to go..You were fun.

NYT:SE...What If we ran coupons again?

girl, swishing her long flowing flake and frizz free hair, too little too where can I can some wi-fi love?

To conclude, I used to be all, I heart you NY Times:Sunday edition, and now I'm like NY Times:Sunday edition? When did you gain all this weight? Where are my comics? Where are my coupons? Where oh where is the love?

Plus, is it not just easier to google the book reviews I want to see?
Next week..Rhianna and Google: An Affair to Remember.

1 comment:

The Gardner Gang said...

It would sure be interesting to take a trip inside your head. I bet it looks like Willy Wanka's choclate factory. All colors and good stuff, with the ocasional Umpa Lumpa. Hey they always have a moral lesson in their songs. Then theres the cholate river and the freaky tunnel... ah I digress. You're a trip lady and I enjoy taking a vacation in Rhianna world.