Thursday, July 23, 2009

still the one.

I have been promising writing excerpts for approximately a year and so I suppose I'd better make good, this is from my longest WIP (meaning I've been working on it the longest har har)my original project, The ditz gets it done, this is part of the first MURDER scene and I'd love any feed back you have.

Like everyone else I surged towards her, but stop dead when I catch sight of her mint green dress, a lovely summer weight shift, but completely ruined. It was covered in blood.

I fished my cell phone out of my tiny jeweled bag, and dialed 911.
"Las Vegas 911, what's your emergency?" and realized that I really didn’t know, so I kneel carefully in front of Miss Michigan, Samantha something or other, and speak softly, “Samantha, what happened?”
She looked at me with frightened eyes and whispered, “Miss Utah, Kuh kuh kuh karen Ingleton, she was stabbed, I think, there’s so much blood. I mean, I think she’s dead, there’s like blood everywhere.”
My throat closed,and I felt cotton-mouthed but I forced myself to ask what room and transfer the information to the woman on the phone who assured me help was on the way. I snapped my phone shut and wrapped my arm around Samantha and steered her out of the room. I stopped and asked one of the panicky looking security guards if there was a room where she could be alone, he pointed mutely to one of the other conference rooms. We ducked in quickly and left the chaos behind for a moment. The only sound in the dark room was our breathing and Samantha’s stuttered sobs. I absently patted her back while she tried to calm herself.

The sharp iron smell of the blood was still clinging to her and it turned my stomach. When Samantha finally calmed down, I stuck my head out the door, not sure what I was looking for. I stopped the first man who seemed to see me, “Hey, are the cops here yet?” I ask, and the man whips his head back at me, then opens his suit coat displaying a badge. I grin unsteadily, “I have the girls roomate in here, I thought I should get her away from the crowd. She found her” He just looks sharply at me without speaking and pushes past me into the dark conference room where Samantha was still trying to stop crying. He leans down and introduces himself to her, and speaks softly. She smiles shakily and takes the tissue he’s fished out of his pocket. She takes a deep breath.
I stood there, feeling like a sore thumb, trying to decide whether or not to go back to my room and pack my bags and go home, or see if I could lend a hand restoring calm to the mass of what surely by now was a group of hysterical girls. The decision was made for me when the officer swaggered back towards me, behind him Samantha was once again reaching a new level of screeching, he motioned his head towards the door, and we stepped outside. People were still clustered in bunches talking animatedly and some were crying. Marilyn and Grace were nowhere to be seen, but I’m sure they were somewhere having kittens together.

Hope everyone is having a great summer!
*R

2 comments:

PrincessSedai said...

I still love this story. Thanks for sharing some more of it! Each installment gets better. It is going to be a best seller one day.

Mommy Confidential said...

you are the sweetest! great to see you so much monday!!