Like elevator music for your mouth.

So it's time to once again get serious about my health. Which means no more ice cream sandwiches for breakfast. No more McDonald's for lunch (even my go-to McDonald's diet item, the snack wrap has more calories than is strictly necessary for a meal). No more eating dinner at midnight, or nabbing fries from the kitchen at work. No more loading up my sweet potato with extra brown sugar and honey butter.
NO MORE.
Which means no more of the food I LOVE. Because, honestly, the food I love?is all really fattening. And the food I loathe?makes me skinny and healthy.
It's hard to work in the restaurant industry, especially in a restaurant that serves the most unhealthy food in America (cheese fries, in case you're interested in expediting the clogging of your arteries).
Not that there aren't healthy options, our vegetables are fantastic (um, and swimming in butter)and our fish is flavorful and low fat, (and apparently good for things like brain power and muscle development) but when faced with options like chicken smothered in bacon, mushrooms and cheese or fish..grilled fish, I tend to choose the fat laden chicken. I know it's bad for me, I know, at my age (ouch) I need to be more choosy about what I'm stuffing my face with. I have heart health problems on both sides of my family and weight problems with the women. I need to get health serious and put down the melty cheese fork.
And I do like working out, I just wish it weren't such a pain in the neck to get the kids ready to go, then drop them off, then pick them up...blah blah..
I also have the double kick in the face of my husband 1)being naturally slim and 2)actually preferring grilled chicken to double bacon cheeseburgers. It would be so easy to hate him sometimes.
But alas, it's not about him, it's about me. About my lack of motivation to shed the last twenty (mmm or forty..five) pounds from childcarrying/childbearing and childnursing. About my preferring pizza to celery and fat free cream cheese.
All this to say, Fridays will now be fat-free Fridays, and I will divulge the ulgy truth about my current state of diet. I won't scare you with actual poundage/sizeage, but I will try to share good diet recipes (a rare animal indeed) and hope to motivate anyone who needs to get real (pardon the Dr. Philism) about their health.
So day one will actually be Monday, I always have to start on Monday's (part of my linear thinking for some reason), but I won't post til friday about how I did. I've already cut out a lot of caffeine (really tough, really really tough for me) switching from four (or six) diet dr. peppers to tea and flavored water.
Wish me luck.
Now where did I put those ice cream sandwiches?
**R

the blog will set you free

So I figure if I do one thing every day towards my writing future that's good right?
Progress, yes?
And of course I count blogging cuz, well blogging is technically writing and well, any writing is good writing?
NO.
It turns out, not so much. Not when you have not so arbitrary things like deadlines and self imposed goals and such (crap, total crap)
I like to blog (in theory, I like to write, but I also like things like sleeping and eating and really what is the priority?)
Blogging is like visiting my friends, letting them in on the things they've missed (hello friends, we've moved, I have a new tatoo on my foot and Twilight is the best movie ever even if my boyfriend kisses another girl in it. He HAS to, it's for his WORK, so I understand.)

and so whereas blogging is fun and easy, writing is sometimes hard and well, work like.
I want it so badly, but it's so much work sometimes.
I'm not sure if I'll get to make a living writing, so few people do, but I can't imagine it will be easier if that does happen.
Maybe if I think of writing like blogging I'll be OK, but somehow I don't think I can fool myself into thinking that. It would be a little like trying to tell myself broccoli is chocolate and well even though I like broccoli and chocolate, well, you obviously can't substitute one for the other. Neither can you mix them together (believe me, I've tried crazier things)
So, for now, I'll settle on my tried and true consequence and reward system, (coincidently the same one I employ for my children works for me)where I only get to blog if I write seriously.
And I guess, well, that will just have to work....for now.
**R

Rhianna by the numbers

17-days until much needed, long anticipated vacation



3-number of times I've watched 'Twilight' in as many days



87-times I've considered changing Ailise or Keegan's name to Bella



88,312, 602-lurid vampire fantasies



3-amount of home-made sweets brought to us by new neighbors.



6-things I've attempted out of my comfort zone.



1-number of flat screens purchased.




1-butt expanding from fascination with flat screen and free sweets



412-number of times children warned that being sold to circus is imminent.



2-number of times I called the circus to see if this is an actual possibility



12-the minimum number of boxes left to unpack.



6-number of times I yawned while writing this



3-times I reminded Keegan to take her water bottle to soccer practice



1-number of water bottles forgotten

12-times I've sung our ridiculous birthday song at work in the last three days..Happy happy birthday, our birthday song is short..hey!

30-number of minutes it's taken me to write this post.

and now...
1-the times I'm saying I'm done.

*R

There's a helicopter in the bathroom

We've moved, (but not unpacked) I've finally seen 'Twilight' and Keegan starts soccer today.
Life is a chaotic sort of normal. I say normal, but it's really kind of horrible sucky right now. Mike and I are both working five or six days a week, and so our kids, our friendships, and our lives are suffering. We're both exhausted and some days we only see each other in passing.
Our normalcy has become something very different from our year ago regular lives.
Like a lot of American families we are adjusting to new routines and sparser schedules.
I know on some levels we are far luckier than a lot of people.
We are struggling sure, but we both have jobs, we have a small savings and a vacation planned. Life is just, sometimes...really hard.
My days are long, and tiring, and I'm having to lay aside some of my dreams for now, for our family.
So when I got up this morning to find a helicopter in the bathroom I smiled. My kids are still normal kids, despite how I sometimes feel as if I never see them. They still go to bed on time (thanks, Dad)and feel as if the whole house is their toy box.
When I'm worried that it's too disruptive for me to work, or that they need me more and their Grandmother or Dad less, I think about helicopters in the bathroom, and how someday our normal normal will be back.