Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Interview with a REAL house wife

First of all, a disclaimer: this post is snarky, I'm feeling snarky and therefore the snark factor is high.
You were warned.
I'm flipping through channels during 'nap time' (I'm using this term loosely to describe the time of day where my children scream from their respective beds instead of in my face) and what do I see?
Another frickin 'Real Housewives' of Orange County on Bravo. A spin off actually. The 'Real Housewives of New York City.
I'm laughing too hard to come up with a joke about what all is wrong with this particular title.
But I'll start with the term "housewives", Are we stylizing a BARBIE doll for the late '50's early '60's? I would debone anyone (besides my sweet grandmother who could call me pretty much anything as long as she still makes molasses and biscuits on thanksgiving)who called me a housewife.
Also, REAL? The ONLY episode I've ever seen of the first ridiculous version of this show a woman ( I swear her name was Barbie or Boppy or Inflatable Wife #1) was pointing to various parts of her body and face and naming the 'procedures' she'd had done. And looking happy with herself, while a precarious glass vase full of four hundred dollars worth of flowers perched behind her. If this woman has kids, they don't go in the living room.
I'd just like to say if you love this show, I understand I have my guilty pleasures, but this is no more reality TV than Scooby Doo, just so you know.
If they were casting in Shelby for say, "the REAL women who work their butts practically off to run a household on a shoestring budget and happen to not have a tax statement at the end of the year of Cleveland County" I just may be asked to do that show.
Here is how my interview would go (inspired by an actual interview done with one of the "New York housewives"

'This is Mario Lopez in the studio and I'm here with Rhianna Finnegan from a new show on Bravo, called 'If I make it through the day without Prozac I'm doing good!" Hi Rhianna, that is a lovely brooch you are wearing, is it Tiffany?"

Me: UMM, no, actually it's some baby throw up, do you have a wipe?

Mario(looking taken aback) Ah, no, but I love the pantsuit, Juicy couture?

Me:Oh, thank you, Old Navy Yoga, On sale, can you believe it? These are still maternity pants, but they're so darn comfortable...I just can't stop wearing them.

Mario(a bit more confused)So what will you be wearing to the 'Prozac free is the way to be' premiere? I hear you did a bit of shoppping on Rodeo?

Me: (Snorting) If I had time to shop, it would most likely be at Target and here's hoping Isaac Mizrahi made something that will go day to night!

Mario: Well that's all the time we have for today, Rhianna has to go her son bit someone at preschool, but you can watch all about her trials on her show, 'What is child abuse, exactly?'
Thanks Rhianna!

Me:Thanks Mario, you are so short in person!

Ok, so Mario is No Ryan Seacrest, but he was on Saved by the BELL.
No spokepersons were harmed during the typing of this blog.

IN more news, who's watching American Idol? The guys are doing nothing for me tonight so far.

IN contest news, I believe I have a signed Jennifer Weiner and possibly some TARGET gift cards so check back!!! have a great week! R


Anonymous said...

Its Rebecca - loved this post - those rich sit around and drink and whine all day women make me want to vomit. REAL? Whatever. Thanks for making our everyday drama so funny though!

Kendra Haneline said...

Hilarious! and amen sistah!