Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Whack sing Poet tic.

Can I just say how much me loves the spell check?
Because I do, do, do. So much. Spell check is my friend. And it's not that I'm a bad speller necessarily, just that I constantly second guess myself.
I do this a lot in life too, not just my writing. I have many moments of panic hysteria when I think, should I have just said that? Just because I think it, does that automatically mean I have to spurt it out? Yes, it does.
I eat foot.
A lot.
Yummy, toe jam.
Am I proud that I just wrote a whole paragraph on how much I love spell check? UM, not so much, but hey on the bright side, I'm not cleaning my toilet!
So seriously.
Is anyone else concerned with the mass of celebrities 'writing' cookbooks? And they are bestsellers! Cookbooks!
I'm all for the cookbook, I went through a phase early in marriage, pre rugrats when I bought up all the cookbooks I could find. Bisquick cookbooks, Asian fusion cookbooks, crock pot cookbooks. I was horrible.
I've sold most of them on Ebay, because they were threatening to mutiny in my kitchen and I didn't want to deal, so I kept my favorites, which incidentally are those cute fundraiser cookbooks that people contribute their fave family recipes to and compile and cute little cheerleaders/cub scouts/people in wheelchairs sell to you on Saturday mornings when you are innocently trying to buy other people's junk at yard sales.
But, never in my life...I'm sure it started before Jessica Seinfield and her Deceptively Delicious madness, but for some reason this irks me more than others. Who among us has not snuck something into our children's food?
This is not an original idea people! As a matter of fact, several years before Mrs. Seinfield pitched her idea, a regular Parents' magazine contributor wrote almost the same exact book, with several of the VERY SAME RECIPES! But her book did not get featured on Oprah, or on Letterman. Sigh.
I'm not sure what ole Jessica did before she married Jerry Seinfield and started reproducing madly, but what qualifies her among all the people who have written countless articles and even the very same book?
Oh, yeah, she's married to a millionaire.
Right, she needs the money.
And now, Katie Lee Joel (who looks just as young as Mr. Billy Joel's daughter Alexa Ray, but is, in fact, his wife) has 'written' the Comfort Table, you guessed it, a cookbook.
Is she a chef?
A nutritionist?
A food Savant?
She is from a good southern family, which traditional southern recipes to share.
Oh, yeah, and she's married to a millionaire.
Totally qualified.
Ok, enough of my bitter rant, I'm moving on.
I'm going to give Bill Gates a call, see how his marriage is working out.
If this whole writing fiction thing doesn't work out, I'll hook up with a bajillionare, 'write' a cookbook, and sit back and wait for my royalty checks while getting a mani/pedi/facial.
Good times.


The Gardner Gang said...

I love spell check because I am a horrible speller. (sp?) That was a good rant. I use to listen to a call in radio show (before my car radio was hijacked by vigie tales and high school musical) they would do a "Tirade Tuesday" where people would call in and vent their spleens. I think it is healthy and even if you don't agree you can apprechate a good rant when you hear one.
Rant on Sister Friend!

Mama Missy said...

You are too funny!!! That is so---o true. I've noticed all the celeb cook books and yes I am totally hooked on spell check. I notice that I speed type and leave out letters all the time. I look forward to reading your next rant.

PrincessSedai said...

Personally I love spell check but oh so often forget to use it. I am SO OVER cook books. I mean, I have a stack, and they look oh so pretty on the shelf, but for now, if it involves thought (such as reading directions) I pass! I too would rant about the lunacy of celebrity statis somehow making you an automatic expert in any field you choose, but Rhianna did a great job so I will pass on the soapbox!