Ma'am? Maybe I need botox.

OK, how is possible to feel so dang old at only 29?

Pull my arm (but not too hard, I'm sore from any physical activity longer than twenty minutes)and I'll tell you.

Because everywhere I go, I'm either someone's mom, someone's caregiver or even if I'm all alone (rarely) I still get, would you like me to carry that out for you Ma'am?

MA'AM????

Now, in defense of sweet little high school bag boys everywhere, at least they call me Ma'am and not some other less polite things.

BUT (and this is a big butt) it was not soooo long ago, I was getting asked out by high school bag boys instead of being offered ben-gay and a cane. I mean really, Hmph.

On the upside, I did get carded at Red Lobster.
Which made me a little happy and a little sad.
For two reasons.
One..Mike got sick and we had to leave my beautiful pina colada, all alone and sad and undrunk.
Two...It is a little inconvenient to pull out your licence with the horrible picture and have someone pore over it and declare, you look nothing like this.

So, should you be flattered that you look nothing like you did five years ago? Or upset?
Did the bones in my face migrate?
I mean, I'm still a redhead (although I'm contemplating a major change in hair color just to shake things up) I'm still 5'5", I still wear corrective lenses. How many people could pretend to be me?
geez.

NOW list time, Straight from Urban Dictionary!

New words and phrases to work into your vocab.

Rut Ro- Uh oh in Scooby doo language (and consequently, Brady's)

Irregardless-Without lack of regard (I know, give yourself a second)

Dk;Dc- don't know, don't care (I love this even though I would never say it, because usually I do know and even more often, I care)

consumerican-Person suffering from a particularly American Brand of consumerism.

Gullible-the only word not in the dictionary, go look.

Wikedemia- An academic work passed off as scholarly, but researched entirely on Wikipedia.

Now, don't you feel much smarter and more 'in the know' and hip and with it?
Good, cuz that was my goal.
That and the whole gullible thing. But don't get mad. That's just how I roll.

Ma'am.

r